My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
