your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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