Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Randomize
