And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
