Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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