It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize
