Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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