She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
how drunk are you?
Several
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Randomize
