i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Randomize
