Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
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