I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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