I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
