David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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