You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Randomize
