did you get engaged???
i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Randomize
