Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
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