but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
whose parrot is this?
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
