You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Randomize
