ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
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