i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize
