Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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