piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
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