On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
