No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
