I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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