This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
