Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
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