Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Randomize
