I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Someone shit on the floor
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize
