So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Randomize
