Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
