So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
