mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
