Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Randomize
