i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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