We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Is it because I queefed?
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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