I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
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