First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
