Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
