careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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