I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Randomize
