so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
