Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
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