P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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