that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
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