He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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