dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
