apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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