I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Randomize
