plz talk dirty to me
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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